Mind the Gap

A Licensed Social Worker Angela (a member of the stake) came and spoke about bridging the gap between the ideal and reality. She provided counsel for finding peace amid difficulties such as infertility, depression, singleness in a family-focused church, etc.

She provided the following points in a handout:

True peace vs. survival peace: We are promised peace in mortality. Where do you find/get peace? What’s your foundation for peace?
It’s okay to feel other feelings beyond happiness. Feelings are usually temporary.
Truth and the answers we seek usually come to us in our vulnerability, when we lean into our pain.
Find an individual who will just sit in the pain/sadness/discomfort with you. No solutions, just sits with you.


Distress Tolerance: Radical Acceptance

Suffering = not accepting pain
Acceptance: 1. Letting go of fighting reality; 2. Turning suffering you can’t cope with into pain that you can cope with.
Acceptance does NOT equal approval.

Three Myths about Acceptance:
If you refuse to accept something, it will magically change.
If you accept your painful situation, you will become soft and just give up (or give in).
If you accept your painful situation, you are accepting a life of pain.

ThreeTruths about Radical Acceptance:
Radical Acceptance is complete acceptance from deep within.
Radical Acceptance is choosing to accept reality as it is.
Radical Acceptance is willingness (saying “yes” to [this mortal experience] and being in the moment) vs. willfulness (saying “no” to reality or “yes, but”).

Special thanks to Emily H. for writing this up for the blog.